Artists, Stop Attending The Grammys

Nobody’s watching, anyway.

With each Grammy Billie Eilish won, she appeared more uncomfortable. Watching from the safety of my couch, there was a palpable sense of polite befuddlement mixed with a strange disaffection emanating from the Staples Center every time.

This wasn’t the same aura from 2015, when Beck’s Morning Phases won Album of the Year over Beyoncé’s Beyoncé. Those final minutes had the same dramatic fatalism of a Twilight Zone episode — it’s not the twist that gets you, but the surprise that you can still be…